There's no doubt that becoming a parent in general is a life-changing experience in itself, however, for those of us who discover our child is deaf or hard of hearing - it brings a whole new layer to the journey as well as a new role we weren't quite prepared for...
The role of a parent advocate.
From the moment we're told our child is deaf, we are expected to make decisions that quite literally can determine their future outcomes (don't freak out!).
We're told a thousand different things from countless different specialists and experts, and then sent on our way to decipher it all and somehow work out the questions we need to ask and the steps we need to take. It's pretty wild!
The advocacy role for so many of us is simply thrust on us without warning or preparation. And for many, especially those who avoid confrontation like the plague (#guilty), this responsibility can be incredibly daunting and anxiety-inducing.
If this is you - you're not alone.
I know so many parents and families I've worked with that report feeling:
- Overwhelmed by the amount of information they need to learn
- Anxious about confronting authority figures or experts
- Unsure of their child's rights and how to advocate for them
- Worried about being perceived as difficult or demanding
- Frustrated when their concerns aren't taken seriously
But I have some good news: It doesn't have to be that way!
There are things we can do to 'exercise our advocacy muscle' as I like to say and build our skills in this role (even for the big scaredy-cats like me! Yes that's right, I used to loathe any form of confrontation so trust me, I get it).
Our voice and efforts as parents truly can make a significant difference to our child's education, social experiences, and overall well-being.
Here's 3 of my favourite hacks for building that advocacy muscle as parents and nailing your next meeting:
Number One: Do Your Research
Knowledge is power, right? And the more we know, the more we can drive change. So I strongly suggest before entering any advocacy situation, try and arm yourself with as much information as possible in these three steps:
- Study the organisation you're dealing with, including their policies and procedures
- Familiarise yourself with relevant laws and regulations protecting your deaf / hard of hearing child
- Learn about your child's specific rights and entitlements in various settings (educational, community etc)
Understanding the landscape you're approaching will help you navigate conversations more confidently and identify when your child's rights aren't being respected. You've got this!
Number Two: Always Go in Prepared
Preparation is key for a lot of things, particularly effective advocacy. Take some time to gather and organise the support materials you need to ensure you get the outcome you want:
- Compile written evidence and reports that highlight your child's specific developmental progress and needs
- Consider including a 'parent impact statement' that outlines your perspective and aligns with your advocacy goals
- Document specific incidents / anecdotes etc that support your argument
- Bring in policies and legal documents and physically highlight the areas that support your case and the organisations obligation to cater to your child's needs.
Having this information readily available will strengthen your position and help you stay focused during potentially stressful meetings!
Number Three: Develop and Practice Your Scripts
No I'm not kidding! Actually rehearsing and running through what you want to say can significantly reduce anxiety and improve your delivery in moments of stress. Remember to:
- Write out key points and your ideal outcome that you want to achieve in the meeting
- Link this with specific evidence you will be bringing in
- Develop clear, concise ways to express your child's needs that is proactive and effective
- Practice your scripts in front of a mirror or with a supportive friend (this is important!)
This preparation will help you communicate more effectively when nerves might otherwise make it difficult to express yourself clearly.
Remember, becoming an effective advocate is a journey and for many of us takes years to hone and establish - It's 100% okay to feel uncertain or anxious at times. Each interaction is an opportunity to grow more confident in your ability to speak up for your child and learn much-needed lessons along the way!
Your efforts to advocate for your child not only secure immediate and necessary support, but also lay the critical groundwork for their future self-advocacy skills. With research, preparation, and practice, you can find your voice and make a significant impact on your child's life and experiences long-term.
If I can do it - you can too! And I'm with you all the way.
Clare x
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If you are a parent on the journey and found this blog post helpful, I encourage you to join my upcoming Raising Bilinguals Bootcamp! This online program dives deeper into the ideas discussed here, offering practical solutions to support your advocacy efforts and transform you into the 'expert' we all want to be!
Don’t miss out! 👉 Join the Waitlist for the Raising Bilinguals Bootcamp
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My 'Parent Advocate' Intensive is also launching in 2025!
This is an opportunity for a small group of parents to engage in 4 advocacy coaching sessions across 6 months with the focus on building your 'advocacy muscle', honing your skills, troubleshooting real life scenarios and building a long-term action plan for you and your child.
Express your interest 👉 here to stay in the loop!